I definitely don’t have a serious boyfriend

I definitely don’t have a serious boyfriend

Simultaneously reckless and wrecked.  (Taken with instagram)

Simultaneously reckless and wrecked. (Taken with instagram)

I feel so ridiculous.  (Taken with instagram)

I feel so ridiculous. (Taken with instagram)

4
🎧I got a girl and she don’t have to work. She can tell which horse is gonna finish first. (Taken with instagram)

🎧I got a girl and she don’t have to work. She can tell which horse is gonna finish first. (Taken with instagram)

1
We’re fat. I’m eating like my babez, I must be lonely. (Taken with instagram)

We’re fat. I’m eating like my babez, I must be lonely. (Taken with instagram)

Im glad I took the time to salvage data from my smashed phone. I don’t know what I would have done without dorky pictures of myself and transcripts of Laura and I complaining. (Taken with instagram)

Im glad I took the time to salvage data from my smashed phone. I don’t know what I would have done without dorky pictures of myself and transcripts of Laura and I complaining. (Taken with instagram)

Im feeling kind of scummy and slothy today. Can you tell? (Taken with instagram)

Im feeling kind of scummy and slothy today. Can you tell? (Taken with instagram)

1
Girlfriend time vs boyfriend time (Taken with instagram)

Girlfriend time vs boyfriend time (Taken with instagram)

4
I’m too autistic to be able to pull off counterclockwise orientation. I’m going to end up with a three pack… (Taken with instagram)

I’m too autistic to be able to pull off counterclockwise orientation. I’m going to end up with a three pack… (Taken with instagram)

Thanks for raining on my parade, Co. (Taken with instagram)

Thanks for raining on my parade, Co. (Taken with instagram)

1
The ONE time that I walked up the stairs sober.. (Taken with instagram)

The ONE time that I walked up the stairs sober.. (Taken with instagram)

Bella is going to be so annoyed when she smells me. (Taken with instagram)

Bella is going to be so annoyed when she smells me. (Taken with instagram)

Apparently sleeking your hair back pumps up your muscles? (Taken with instagram)

Apparently sleeking your hair back pumps up your muscles? (Taken with instagram)

Just thought I’d remind you all how tacky I am. (Taken with instagram)

Just thought I’d remind you all how tacky I am. (Taken with instagram)

2
I’m taking care of a very sick Bella today.  (Taken with instagram)

I’m taking care of a very sick Bella today. (Taken with instagram)